shayasta gangsta..what now

Day three: Dear crush/significant other

Dear babe, 

Ummmmm…Hi :) Hm, I am not sure what to say to you since I talk to you every day. In fact, I spent all day with you today like I do most Fridays. :) Lets see, where do I begin. Well, I know that on November 25th, it will be our 8 month anniversary and although it may not seem like a long time, I feel like I’ve known you for way longer. We always have something to talk about and no matter what I am feeling you always find a way to make me smile and I tell you to stop it when its something serious BUT I secretly love it because you make me forget about the bad and let me see the good side of everything. :P

Sometimes, I do wonder how I ended up falling for you haha because we are the total opposites but they do say opposites attract. You like slow love songs, I love rap and hard rock. You love online games and can spend hours playing them, I love online shopping and can spend days on that. However, our differences bring us closer because they make us accept each other for who we are and we do not try and change the each other. Remember when we use to stay up till 4am talking on aim? Or, when you asked me to be your girlfriend and we were both so nervous that day even though we both knew you were going to ask? Or perhaps, do you remember every time I did something wrong and you questioned or got mad I would say, ” I like you babe :)” hoping that would make everything better. Time goes by so fast, and during that time, somewhere along the lines we fell in love with each other.

For me, I was so confused when I started feeling love because the feeling,the emotion was so new to me. Remember when I told you I loved you? Gah, I was a mess :/ I didnt know how to say to you that I loved you so so much but somehow you already knew how I felt before I even said anything! I am so thankful times a bazillion gazillion infinite times for you. I love everything we do especially when you hold my hand because I feel safe and then when you give me the “squeeze” on my hand or when you cradle my chin it makes me feel protected and cared for :). I know that we have been through a lot and it makes me sad that we had so many arguments or disagreements but at the same time I know that if we made it past all that its because we both still wanted to be with each other ALOT and we can make it past anything. You listen to me, give me advice, look out for my well being, take care of me, love me and always want to work thru everything! You give me everything I need and I hope that I do the same for you. Weeks ago, when I was sick, you were with me every step and when I lost my memory you didnt care. I thought you would leave but you stuck it out with me and wanted to stay with me even when I told you it wasnt necessary. Im sorry if Ive ever done anything to hurt you. I hate seeing you sad! :(  

Babe, I love you with all my heart. The thought of losing you scares me so so much and brings tears to my eyes. I know recently we have been talking about a certain issue that may arise and I worry but then you let me know every day that you still want this and that we will work thru anything and I have seen just how much you dont want to lose me either but it still scares me. I dont have a doubt that you love me and I dont want you to ever have a doubt that I love you too. I want the best for you and I want us to be together long time haha :) Thank you so so much for everything! 

Love, me :D <3 

Day two: Dear future/current child

Oh my, the fun times that await us. Well, it will most likely be a very long time from now until I get to meet you but I have thought about you. I wonder what it will be like to hold you in my arms, your first steps, first words; I will be there. I wish I could meet  you sooner but now is really not the time. I am not in a good place to give you what  you deserve. I want to give you everything you NEED (*note-not everything you WANT). 

Surprisingly, a lot of people cant wait to meet you either! Everyone wants to know how you will turn out. Big eyes, small eyes, blue eyes, green eyes, curly or straight hair, so many ways they imagine you. Will you love music as much as me? Or perhaps, sports and games? No matter what though I will love you and I don’t worry much about how you will turn out physically. I worry more about who you will be internally. The type of man or woman you will grow up to be. The world is a scary place, it hurts at time and I do not want you to go through any pain because it will hurt me too.  I have been through a lot and I know that a lot can happen to you too. When I welcome you into the world, I want you to know that you will be my number one, my only one and everything that I do will be for you. Your daddy might get jealous :) but he will understand because hopefully your future daddy turns out to be a great man who will love you just as much as I will and we can both take care of you and give you our all. 

I love you so much already. I want the best for you. Yes, most likely we will fight at times but I want you to always share with me what you are feeling. Your opinions matter to me. I know it will be hard and some things you will want to hide from me but please try your hardest to trust me and tell me everything no matter how bad you think it is. I want to help you. I’ve made mistakes and I learned from them just like I want you to be able to learn from your mistakes too but with my help. Sadly, I will on many occasions disagree with things you want or choose but in the long run I just want you to be happy. I will in no way be as strict or enforce certain things on you as my parents did (your grandparents). 

I may not be the best mommy in the wold but I will try my best! 

Cant wait to meet you someday! <3333 , your future mommy : ) 

Day one : Dear ex boyfriend

Dearest ex, 

You know how they say if you love something let it go, and if it returns it was yours? Well, we let each other go but I knew that you I would not return to you. As much as it hurts, I never felt the same way about you and deep down you knew I never would. I really think you deserve someone better and always regretted not speaking up sooner so you can get on with your life without me holding you back. I may not have loved you, however, I always truly cared for you and always admired the man you were.

Words cannot describe what we had. You were my best friend and always had an answer for any of my nonsense questions. You gave me the taste of what it is to be in a real relationship and from it I learned and was able to take the lessons onto my current relationship. Sometimes, I do wonder what we could have had. What if I had fallen in love and made it work, taken that chance. I know you would have given up a lot and done anything if I had only said yes. Unfortunately, I could not grow to love you and what was fair to you was to let you go. The immense hurt I felt was overcome with content that I could let you grow and find someone else who would love you as much as you them.

Hope you are happy now and living life! wishing the best for you, Jess :) 

Seven letters challenge

wtfgillian:

Day one: Dear ex boyfriend/girlfriend

Day two: Dear future/current child

Day three: Dear crush/ current significant other

Day four: Dear mother

Day five: Dear tumblr

Day six: Dear dad

Day seven: Dear future me (a year from now)

(via wtfgilliann)